maanantai 4. marraskuuta 2013

Ghostbusters (1984)

"The best part is the song."
"Who ya gonna call?!"
Another popular film that to me is simply awful.

Beware of all the positive reviews, of which I have no reasonable explanation.

It was so boring I felt like shooting myself... couldn't they have made it less freaking boring?

I sat down to re-live the magical experience with my children (aged 6 and 8), but to my disappointment, discovered that the film really hasn't aged that well. Despite some classic moments of dry humour from Bill Murray, and the impressive sight of Sigourney Weaver's lovely, long legs, the film just isn't as great as my memory had led me to believe.
This film is witless - it's true; it has no wit.

The ghosts are nothing like what real ghosts are
 
beasts that yell out Zuul.

The great Gozer's plan that started with the Hitites in 6000 B.C. What is that about?

The Marshmallow Man'?!? What the hell is that?!

When the final showdown between the good guys and the bad guys is taking place, they sort of just stand around there, cracking weak jokes, and then shooting off some low-budget flames.
Before I first saw the movie I had noticed that it had a huge success in box-office and,also,the "imdb" users had given a rating of about 7,5/10.

I think that it deserves a rating of 3.5/10

If only more people would take off their rose-tinted glasses, they'd be able to see this for what it really is.
I understand that this movie is pretty old.

There wasn't nearly enough action to keep me interested.

The film starts in a satisfacory way,with some good jokes-especially from Bill Murray.

Bill Murray is hilarious. Peter Venkman is one of his great character, a scientist for whom the pursuit of knowledge comes second to chasing girls.

Badly written, but could have been an ok film had it been done slightly more seriously.

Yes, it has a great theme tune.

Theme song is very catchy, but it is not going to be a part of my DVD collection any time soon.

maanantai 28. lokakuuta 2013

Back to the Future (1985)

The most overrated film ever made. Definitely not worth the hype.

I always regard the eighties as the weakest decade for movies.
"There are of course the kind of complications that usually follow from time travel."
Weekend movies are made just to make us have some fun while we watch It.

This one is about time travel, time travel to the past.

But there are of course the kind of complications that usually follow from time travel.

Science Fiction = Fiction based on scientific facts.

Flux Capacitor and time traveling dogs are hardly supported by science!

This film is not science fiction. It is fantasy. Science fiction should make some attempt at plausibility.

It's 1955 now and we note that the state of the town is rather better in most respects. No garbage on the streets.
"It was irresponsible for a film to show such potentially fatal activities as skateboarding on the back of vehicles."
J. Fox tried to look ultra cool, but he couldn't.

He is constantly on the move, frenetic and frantic, forever running to or from one thing or the other, and shouting "Doc!" a lot.

You can't help thinking someone as boyish and short could never really be so cool.

Christopher Lloyd was cool but not properly utilized!
The thrill of this movie for me begins when Marty travels back in time.

Teenage girl who will become his Mom falls for him.

The movie Back to the Future (1985), allowed me to live this fantasy.


Pros:
+ The famed Delorean automobile... he was driving away at a heightened rate of speed in the automobile.
+ Biff gets everything he deserves.
+ Anybody who hates this movie probably hates babies and laughs at people when they're a few dollars short
+ If Sigmund Frued saw this movie he'd be foaming and frothing at the mouth

Cons:
(-) I was annoyed by the background music.
(-) Marty's continual, idiotic 'slip-ups' with 1985 references in 1955 give me a headache and make me wonder if he's not mentally defective.
(-) "Marty's" father (Crispin Glover) was a disgusting wuss.
(-) The close relationship, between mother and son, was a little over the top for me.
(-) Lloyd's overacting could also grow irritating for some.

Summary:
I like this movie okay.

Overall the idea of going back in time was awesome! However, the whole idea of my mother being attracted to me was very creepy. I believe that many of the movie goers would agree with me.

Not something that I would really want to have in my DVD collection.

keskiviikko 23. lokakuuta 2013

Silver linings playbook (2012)

"bipolar is pretty much curable if a person meets the right hot girl"
AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!

Terrible,terrible,terrible.Don't waste any penny on it.

One star because zero stars isn't an option, nor is a black hole icon.

This is my 1st review because I had to say something about this movie just to warn others about it

What's not to hate?

This film endorsed gambling, rewarded incredible stupidity and risk-taking

mess of a movie in terms of any sense of reality, common sense, and human behavior.

both unbelievable and uncomfortable!

a lot of "blá-blá-blá", and so on...

You want to make a movie about mental illness, fine. You want to bill it as a heartwarming comedy, NOT fine.

Avoid this sickening film at all costs... It will disturb you to the point of tears!

The audience I was with didn't laugh that much.
"these two do not a happy & balanced love match make"
Not at all a good representation of people

From the first minute of the film you are subjected to people shouting at each other

boy and girl get thrown into a situation where they have intense prolonged contact

She is mean and unlikable

They were playing ugly characters: rude, vulgar, lots of foul language and bad behavior, mistreating and abusing each other.

I don't understand why people are analyzing it way to deeply and enjoying

Try as I might, felt zero affinity for most of these characters.

I must be missing the point somewhere???

Every thing you can imagine is found here, but you will come out with nothing.

enough to make me physically ill to watch (my wife couldn't even sit through the entire film).

I was ready to leave after about 40 minutes

it's unimaginable why anyone would enjoy this film.

There is a apparently a large, devoted audience for maudlin, feel-good romances involving annoying people

there really isn't anything groundbreaking here. There are hundreds of mental patient movies.

I can't believe people clapped at the end, morons.



Maybe they were depicting a clinical condition accurately or brilliantly, but that ain't entertainment to me.

the lead characters bond during discussion of psychotropic meds that they've been taking for their various mental disturbances. This is a new low in cute-meet.

I went to see an Oscar nominated comedy. I got a grown man punching his mother in the face.
"such a shame the movie focused so heavily on these two sad sacks"
So confused as to what about this movie is so amazing

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrh... this frustrates me.

film's primary protagonist is portrayed in such a disturbing way

not all depressed people get manic and destroy things at the drop of a hat or run out and sleep with a bunch of people.

He wears a trash bag to work up sweat...but never seems to sweat. He was supposed to be out of shape, but is definitely not out of shape when they show flashbacks.

deNiro's character is willing to throw away his entire family's future based on nothing other than an idiotic hunch

dad who obviously passed his mental issues on to his son

characters were either too aggravatingly loud and/or lame to keep me interested or root for them.

I sincerely do not understand what it is the academy saw in this movie to nominate it for 8... EIGHT Oscars! Are they paying them to nominate the movie?

I wanted to like this movie, I really did.

Most films I hate only draw comments from idiots.

Truly speaking, it is unfair to rate it 1/10, but I did so just to lower its general rating

I didn't hate it before, but people were appreciating it way too much which I think this movie doesn't deserve, so I hate it now.

But to be honest, the movie is a crap.

torstai 4. heinäkuuta 2013

The Watchmen

"This movie is about a bunch of washed up HUMANS with no powers."
"B u t i t m a k e s n o s e e n n n s e !!!"
"Watchmen" is a very bad movie, and I am one of the few people who have the guts to say it!

I consider myself a very open-minded person, I can enjoy over the top violence, gore etc. but this???

After watching 300 my expectations were ridiculously high but I did not expect this from Zack Snyder.

A boring plot that moves along like your Grandma's childhood memories.

I've never been to a movie that spent this many hours being bad.

There were all these silly side sub plots that totally confused the storyline! The movie jumps around way to much, doesn't have a solid plot line, bored the hell out of me!

There were just too many plots happening all at once, very very very long introduction.

The plot is dizzily boring and confusing.
"never-ending series of meaningless dialogues"
The book may be very good (friends tell me it is), but I can verify that the movie is awful.

Events and character choices just didn't make sense to me!!

It is a constant and never-ending series of meaningless dialogues

I just could not wait for the impending nuclear holocaust because then I would be able to go home. And I'm actually a very peaceable person...

I really don't understand people who are saying they will watch this over and over!?
I don't dislike Dylan, Simon and Garfunkel or Leonard Cohen.

I cared less about the blue penis

the giant blue Smurf who's genitalia seem to make their appearance with ever increasing frequency for no apparent reason.

The constantly flashing big blue penis was already quite disturbing/distracting in itself, but not as much as the script itself.
The "heroes" allow millions to die because they are too crappy at being heroes 
The movie does not manage to make me feel connected to any of the characters. This is the main weakness to me.

The Comedian is the only one I loved straight away but he dies within 5 minutes.

I found myself caring only about Rohrschach.

'Rorschach'. The only character that you actually felt anything for.

The one shining light in this movie was the performance of Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach. Of course he sounded like a conservative so they had to kill him off before the movie ended.

Nite Owl is a geek. He's the kind of classmate who's name you wouldn't remember after 1 year.

Silk Spectre II was horrible. All she does is have sex with the guys without too much of a pause between them.
"Worse than Shakespeare!"
It amazes me how much emotional baggage these people in their stupid costumes can carry around with them.

a bunch of boring people who think that they can save the world.

it has hardly any plot to speak of! Both my girl-friend and I vented our anger about this fact after the screening

Silk Spectre II's life was a joke and so was this movie.

The rescue scene followed by the sex scene just about sums up the whole film - it was just non-arousing, boring and pointless.

Recall that extra homework you got after behaving badly at school? Well, I at least do, and this movie is it. Worse than Shakespeare written on paper, if that means anything.

The only time I paid attention was when someone's bone popped out or someone's arms got chopped off.

PS.
I found more than 150 reviews with 1/10 rating at IMDB. I only had the time to study 50 of them.

torstai 13. kesäkuuta 2013

Where the boring and depressed things are (2008)

"bizarre behavior which totally embarrasses the viewer"
"The monsters on the island are nothing more than large Muppet like creations."
I honestly didn't get it. The wild things were mean to each other, the wild things were mean to the boy, no one was happy (especially my kids).

Our nearly seven-year-old daughter and her friend were bored to tears, our two-year-old was freaked out, and our whole family felt simply awful afterwards.

I think Saw VI would have felt more uplifting than this.
"growling and wearing the stupid wolf costume -whoa now that was disturbing."
the wild things had scowls on their faces the whole time and walked around in a kind of trance like state glaring and yelling at each other.

It's not wacky or funny. Not colorful or exciting. There's only about 10 minutes of what I'd call "fun".

It's troubling, confusing for children, confusing for adults (as in WTF?), and overall pretty pathetic.

Max never solves any of the monsters problems by the time he leaves

he comes across as a neurotic schizophrenic who suffers from ADD and multiple personality disorders,he also looks like he's on drugs half the time.
"why don't the monsters try and eat Max when he was one of the worst kings they ever had?"
It looked like a fun book for a kid when I looked at the cover illustration, but when I read it, it came across as silly nonsense.

I remember reading "Where the wild things are" many, many times.

how do you turn a nine sentence children's book into a movie?

I thought that the reworking of the story in this way was unnecessary.

This movie did not follow the book! I understand the book was short, but come on, at least it kinda made sense!


PS.
Carol's model of the island did not actually match the island.

PPS.
it is never explained what Carol has against Terry and Bob

lauantai 16. helmikuuta 2013

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Official Tag-lines: 
"Avoid this film at all cost."
"Stay away!"
In my long career of watching movies I have built a strong immunity system against terrible films.

In the theatre, probably 15-20 people walked out before it was even over. I kept watching because I COULD NOT BELIEVE that any movie could be this bad.

In fact, I didn't see anything I liked.

Boring! A movie about two men on a drug binge is boring! And lifeless too.

Unpleasant to watch, unpleasant to think about afterwards. I'm surprised it's not in the Bible as a Missing Plague.

uuuuuugh.

Benicio Del Toro was alright though.

Johnny Depp's acting was good.

Depp and Toro are both considered two of Hollywood's sexiest men
I did like the monsters in the bar scene.

the carpet pattern swirling, that wasn't bad

The cinematography, set design and location were great.

two heavy drug addicts are somewhat funny to watch.
 
how mega brilliant is Hunter S Thompson's original book?

If some day any of my kids try to use drugs, my punishment will be forcing them to watch this movie

I give this a 2/10.

(Each line is taken from individual review with 1/10 points rating and nothing else. There is no shortage of negative reviews.)